practical nlp applications & ideas
I was chatting with some friends recently and we got talking about what might be the most useful bit of NLP for improving our relationships with others.
For me it had to be Perceptual Positions (or Different Perspectives as we call it in Pegasus NLP).
Why? Because the NLP Perceptual Positions method gives us a way of systematically considering an interaction from at least three viewpoints: our own, that of the other person, and the viewpoint of a detached onlooker.
Most of us are a pretty good, experts in fact, at looking at the situation from our own perspective. And the reassuring thing about doing this is that it usually confirms how right we are…
But if we then take a moment to step into the shoes of the other person and consider it from their perspective, and “as if” we were them, that certainty tends to get challenged somewhat. We recognize that, just maybe, there might be other ways of looking at the situation.
Which is probably why so many of us do it so infrequently!
Different Perspectives:
Is something that I use all the time, I quite often get it wrong, but I do try.
It has helped me enormously, it does take a lot of patience and can take some time.
One of the problems with using Different Perspectives, is that cultural and environmental judgments can make huge differences.
Sometimes the person that you are dealing with, is so far removed from your own “personal” reality, you cannot comprehend their view of what is happening.
For me, and this is just, “my take on things”, Different Perspectives is a truly great way to communicate and to understand others, but remember another persons reality might be much, much different from your own.
Tudor
I would like to add to my previous comment about Different Perspectives.
Checking that the person with whom your are communicating, is giving you their own answers, and not giving you the answers that you are looking for.
I’m quite poor at remembering all of the “buzz words of NLP” , but I do sometimes remember some of the principles, so I will try and explain it my way
:
This is my own personal opinion.
Do not ask leading questions, then when you have asked the question, allow the person time to answer. When they answer, listen to what they are saying, and observe the other signals that they are conveying.
Listening for me, is the most important skill of all, especially if you try to empathise with the person that is talking to you.
One thing about listening, and I find this difficult, is keeping ones mouth shut. If a person wants to talk, let them talk, if they want to think, let them think.
Now the next bit for me is very hard, if the silence seems to be getting awkward, relax and wait for a few minutes before interjecting, and/or asking for more information.
Finally (whew) , if you don’t understand what a person is communicating, check, ask them to explain, then check again, then check again, try different angles then check again.
When you have as much information, as you think you are going to get, try on their “shoes”, now how does it look
I have had some useful Different Perspectives when I have explained to the other person what I have been doing, and asking them to try the technique on me.
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Best regards from Tudor