Pegasus NLP Blog
NLP for people who like to think for themselves!
I was asked for advice on what to do about anger – so I explained as simply as possible how we do the Anger Habit:
- People who get angry (let’s just say it’s ‘us’) do so because we have a strong sense of justice and fairness…
- We believe/decide that something is not fair or is unjust – or we believe that Other People should do things our way i.e. obey our ‘rules’
- In other words we want to be able to control the behaviour of Other People
- But, of course, Other People don’t want to be controlled by us – so they refuse to obey our rules
- So we get angry – sometimes even violent – in the hope that this will intimidate the Other People, and that they will give in and behave themselves according to our rules.
- But until we give up this need to control Other People – and accept that they won’t obey us – we’ll continue to get angry and continue to have pretty unsatisfactory relationships.
- However some people with the ‘anger habit’ find it very difficult to give up this need to control Other People
- Because they don’t like the thought of others ‘getting away with it’
- So they carry on getting angry. Getting frustrated. Losing friends. And even losing their liberty, if things get out of hand.
- Until eventually (hopefully) they realise that they cannot control everyone else in the world and that sometimes people will get away with it. That’s how it is
And there’s a lot more information here: http://www.pe2000.com/anger.htm
She didn’t dither nor mess about. She got straight to the point. She wanted information which she knew she had a right to and she expected me to give to her!
Her email arrived today via our web contact form and read: ‘I am actually getting fear of closed spaces I want to treat myself and help my followers in my sports profession.. many undergoing these symptoms.’
That’s it – exactly as it arrived (apart from her contact details, of course. No attempt to create rapport. No real information. No reason for me to respond. )
The pe2000.com website
The message came via our pe2000.com website which provides free information about how we can manage our emotions and deal more effectively with anger, panic, fears, phobias and so on. Most of the information is based on my experience and observations from working with individual clients as a psychotherapist and with groups as a stress management trainer since 1984. Continue reading
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