rapport

Daily NLP Tips

The new daily NLP Tips series on Twitter is for people who have had some experience of NLP. This is because anything other than a reminder of an NLP concept or process would be impossible to squeeze into 140 characters – it’s a tough enough challenge as it is :-)

I’m planning on keeping the series going for a few weeks, at least, until I get a sense of how useful it is proving to people. I will also repost the Tips here on the Pegasus NLP Blog, along with some explanatory notes, every week or two. This is to enable people who don’t use Twitter to have access to them.

And if you do use Twitter you can follow the NLP Tips: @pegasusnlp

Day 1. The Sameness & Difference Meta Programme

Meta Programmes reminder: Sameness – first recognises how things are similar. Difference – first recognises how things are not similar. Posted Saturday, 7 February 2011.

Sameness-Difference is one of the most useful of the NLP Meta Programmes. It helps explain why some people like lots of change and variety in their lives while others prefer continuity and stability.

Day 2. Rapport through body language matching

Rapport: body language matching (most risky, liable to intrude). Match only one area e,g. torso position Allow 10-20 secs before matching. Posted on Saturday, 7 February 2011.

As already mentioned in the blog articles below the Body Language method of creating rapport is risky since it is likely to intrude into the awareness of the other person who may well misconstrue it as an attempt to manipulate or to mimic them. Nevertheless it will work quite well if done very subtly, with the 10-20 seconds delay mentioned above, and against a background of the 4 Rs. Continue reading

How not to do an appraisal

Sitting in Caffe Nero a few days ago I had the uncomfortable experience of watching and hearing a loud and brash young manager (unintentionally, I think) humiliating a soft-spoken direct report.

As appraisals go it was a pretty thorough example of how not to do it.

Rapport – what rapport?

There was no quality of rapport. The manager was clicking his pen, constantly shifting his position in his chair, bouncing his knees under the table as if to an internal fast paced rhythm, he’d start off his very loud comments by looking briefly at his victim and then continue the comments in a quite mechanical manner while gazing out the window beside their table, as if reciting a rehearsed spiel.

He (we’ll call him Jack) demonstrated no attempt to understand the other person’s (let’s call him Mohan) viewpoint and in fact showed little interest in Mohan at all. Continue reading

In relating with other people many of us unintentionally sabotage the rapport we are trying to create! We are so desperately anxious to get along well with someone and to create a good impression that we simply try too hard. As result we come across as nervous, tense, jumpy, pushy, preoccupied, or bossy – or a confusing mix of all of these.

We are trying to impress rather than to communicate. And because we are not at ease with ourselves we cause others to feel ill-at-ease. Continue reading

Search all Pegasus NLP

Loading

Save time…

Get a brief email when a new article appears. Enter email address here (it will only be used for our blog alerts.)