pegasus nlp blog
practical nlp applications & ideas
Managing and Leading in tougher times
Managing and team leading in 2010 and beyond is more demanding than ever before with the challenge of raising and maintain morale and motivation in a smaller workforce in which people:
- have less job security than ever before
- are often dealing with an increased workload as a result of staff cuts
- are experiencing the stress of having to adjust to almost continuous change. Continue reading
‘I’ll try…’
It’s only a tiny word. Just 3 letters. But how a person uses the word ‘Try’ provides important clues to their beliefs and attitude.
This widely used and quite sneaky little word is generally used without much thought – almost as a figure of speech, in fact. But what lies beneath it is the attitude I don’t believe…as in ‘I don’t believe you can’ or ‘I don’t believe I can’. And like a lot of words and terms we use it so often that few of us listen to our use of it even though this is emotionally impacting ourselves and our listeners. Continue reading
There’s listening… and there’s really listening.
Normally when we’re listening to somebody we tend to pay attention to what they are actually saying. We listen to the words, the sentences, the descriptions, the story line, etc. As a result we may have feelings about them and what they are saying. Yet we are really just hearing and responding to a quite superficial level of their full message.
On the other hand some people, and especially those who have had a thorough training in NLP, will ‘hear’ more. They are also listening for what’s underneath the words, in other words what is going on inside the person doing the talking? How are they really feeling? And this level of information is picked up by paying attention to the implications of their words and phrases and tonalities.
‘I’m a good manager!’
No doubt Jack believes he is doing a good job in how he handled Mohan. In his view that’s the way to efficiently breeze through an appraisal: tick all the right boxes to keep HR happy and make sure your people know who’s in charge. (By the way, if you have not yet read the article about Jack’s appraisal it would be a good idea to do this before continuing).
That’s how we do things around here
It is more than likely that Jack has been taught this approach, or picked up the style from his own managers, or was hired for his ability to manage in this way.
It’s also quite likely that senior management has no awareness, and possibly little real interest, in how their ‘front line’ troops are being managed and led – and that, rather than ‘managing by walking about’ (MBWA) they manage by data, using reports and spreadsheets to know what is happening.
And we can make a pretty reasonable guess as to the reliability of the data on which they rely from the manner in which Jack ensured Mohan’s appraisal ticked the right boxes and in the right way. Continue reading
How not to do an appraisal
Sitting in Caffe Nero a few days ago I had the uncomfortable experience of watching and hearing a loud and brash young manager (unintentionally, I think) humiliating a soft-spoken direct report.
As appraisals go it was a pretty thorough example of how not to do it.
Rapport – what rapport?
There was no quality of rapport. The manager was clicking his pen, constantly shifting his position in his chair, bouncing his knees under the table as if to an internal fast paced rhythm, he’d start off his very loud comments by looking briefly at his victim and then continue the comments in a quite mechanical manner while gazing out the window beside their table, as if reciting a rehearsed spiel.
He (we’ll call him Jack) demonstrated no attempt to understand the other person’s (let’s call him Mohan) viewpoint and in fact showed little interest in Mohan at all. Continue reading
No… you’re wrong!
Sometimes the temptation is almost irresistible… to tell the other person just how wrong they are, that is.
I experienced it this morning and, this time at least, I did resist the temptation and decided to write this blog instead.
Pass on the word
It seemed like a good idea (it still is, actually). I’d received one of those ‘sponsor me’ messages from two people who are raising money for a village in India. The target is £600 and when I looked at their site they weren’t making much progress and had reached less than 10% of their target.
So I thought why not tell people who follow me on Twitter about the project? Which I did, pointing out that the cost of just two cappuccinos from each ‘follower’ would enable them to reach their target for the charity.
Within less than two minutes of posting the tweet I received a one-liner reply ‘Charity begins at home!!’ Continue reading
It’s about attitude
He wasn’t just serving coffees and pastries for around a minimum wage. He was a performer who liked people. Chatty, smiling and engaging – even with surly customers. Cups were sometimes spun on his fingers, cream dispenser flipped in the air. He had attitude.
She wasn’t just a supermarket till cashier – unlike the cashier she’d just taken over from. She was a people person – who very efficiently worked the belt and got the customers moving. Chatting with everyone – even making eye contact. She had attitude.
He isn’t just a car garage owner – he’s passionate about his customers and their cars. He explains things, won’t give in with a tricky problem, offers you a lift home if the work’s likely to take long, and always seem to have time for a friendly chat. Attitude. Continue reading
She didn’t dither nor mess about. She got straight to the point. She wanted information which she knew she had a right to and she expected me to give to her!
Her email arrived today via our web contact form and read: ‘I am actually getting fear of closed spaces I want to treat myself and help my followers in my sports profession.. many undergoing these symptoms.’
That’s it – exactly as it arrived (apart from her contact details, of course. No attempt to create rapport. No real information. No reason for me to respond. )
The pe2000.com website
The message came via our pe2000.com website which provides free information about how we can manage our emotions and deal more effectively with anger, panic, fears, phobias and so on. Most of the information is based on my experience and observations from working with individual clients as a psychotherapist and with groups as a stress management trainer since 1984. Continue reading
In relating with other people many of us unintentionally sabotage the rapport we are trying to create! We are so desperately anxious to get along well with someone and to create a good impression that we simply try too hard. As result we come across as nervous, tense, jumpy, pushy, preoccupied, or bossy – or a confusing mix of all of these.
We are trying to impress rather than to communicate. And because we are not at ease with ourselves we cause others to feel ill-at-ease. Continue reading
I was feeling pretty good as I made my first coffee of the day at 7.10 am this morning (for the record it’s Saturday 16 January 2010). The snow had not affected plans for the 3rd module of our NLP Master Practitioner Programme – and I was looking forward to going in to facilitate today’s session and was happily anticipating some of the good things we were going to be doing and exploring together.
Then I turned on Radio 4’s flagship “TodayProgramme” to find out what was happening in the big world out there.
Big mistake. I was just in time to hear presenter Jim Noughtie putting on his ‘sad-and-moving-story’ voice and beginning to read from one of the Rupert Murdoch tabloids…. “…the bloated and rotting corpses in the intense heat…” was all I heard.
Fortunately I was able to switch him off in time. It was about the terrible earthquake in Haiti, of course, and Jim had managed to evoke some images. Not what I, or anyone else, needs at any time let along 7.10 am as you begin your day. Continue reading
There are articles on Goals and Values on our main website
Goals and Values – your hot buttons (1) http://www.nlp-now.co.uk/nlp_and_values1.htm
Goals and Values – your hot buttons (2) http://www.nlp-now.co.uk/nlp_and_values2.htm
Goals or Dreams (1) http://www.nlp-now.co.uk/goals_or_dreams_1.htm
Goals or Dreams (2) http://www.nlp-now.co.uk/goals_achieve_them_2.htm
People who are going to have a great future http://www.nlp-now.co.uk/nlp_future_on_wheels.htm
NLP in Selling: http://www.nlp-now.co.uk/nlp_sales.htm
Using stress to motivate http://www.nlp-now.co.uk/nlp_live_your_dream.htm
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