Posts Tagged ‘NLP’

No… you’re wrong!

Sometimes the temptation is almost irresistible… to tell the other person just how wrong they are, that is.

I experienced it this morning and, this time at least, I did resist the temptation and decided to write this blog instead.

Pass on the word

It seemed like a good idea (it still is, actually). I’d received one of those ‘sponsor me’ messages from two people who are raising money for a village in India. The target is £600 and when I looked at their site they weren’t making much progress and had reached less than 10% of their target.

So I thought why not tell people who follow me on Twitter about the project? Which I did, pointing out that the cost of just two cappuccinos from each ‘follower’ would enable them to reach their target for the charity.

Within less than two minutes of posting the tweet I received a one-liner reply ‘Charity begins at home!!’ Read the rest of this entry »

She didn’t dither nor mess about. She got straight to the point. She wanted information which she knew she had a right to and she expected me to give to her!

Her email arrived today via our web contact form and read: ‘I am actually getting fear of closed spaces I want to treat myself and help my followers in my sports profession.. many undergoing these symptoms.’

That’s it – exactly as it arrived (apart from her contact details, of course. No attempt to create rapport. No real information. No reason for me to respond. )

The pe2000.com website

The message came via our pe2000.com website which provides free information about how we can manage our emotions and deal more effectively with anger, panic, fears, phobias and so on. Most of  the information is based on my experience and observations from working with individual clients as a psychotherapist and with groups as a stress management trainer since 1984. Read the rest of this entry »

In relating with other people many of us unintentionally sabotage the rapport we are trying to create! We are so desperately anxious to get along well with someone and to create a good impression that we simply try too hard. As result we come across as nervous, tense, jumpy, pushy, preoccupied, or bossy – or a confusing mix of all of these.

We are trying to impress rather than to communicate. And because we are not at ease with ourselves we cause others to feel ill-at-ease. Read the rest of this entry »

It was a fairly dramatic example of being talked at. We were chatting on the phone and she was telling me about something. I attempted to ask about a point she’d just made – but the flow of talking continued unabated.

I then used my favourite technique for getting somebody’s attention (it rarely fails) – I used her name (let’s call her Helen)

‘Helen?’ She carried on.

Tried again. ‘Helen, can I ask you something?’

She carried on.

I thought, okay, lets go for it here:

‘Helen? Helen?’ (Still she carried on). Read the rest of this entry »

I was feeling pretty good as I made my first coffee of the day at 7.10 am this morning (for the record that’s Saturday 16 January 2010). The snow had not affected plans for the 3^rd module of our NLP Master Practitioner Programme – and I was looking forward to going in to facilitate today’s session and was happily anticipating some of the good things we were going to be doing and exploring together.

Then I turned on Radio 4’s flagship Today news programme to find out what was happening in the big world out there.

Big mistake. I was just in time to hear presenter Jim Noughtie putting on his ‘sad-and-moving-story’ voice and beginning to read from one of the Rupert Murdoch tabloids…. “…the bloated and rotting corpses in the intense heat…” was all I heard.

Fortunately I was able to switch him off in time. It was about the terrible earthquake in Haiti, of course, and Jim had managed to evoke some images. Not what I, or anyone else, needs at any time let along 7.10 am as you begin your day. Read the rest of this entry »

If you have taken action with the first four articles on how to use NLP to identify your values and goals you will now have a list of your Top 7 values, arranged in order of importance to you.

You now have your provisional Values Hierarchy.

Next step is to check this hierarchy to ensure it takes you in a right direction for you – and without creating inner conflict. And that’s the subject of this article and the next one. Read the rest of this entry »

In the first three articles we looked at how to make your goals meaningful by finding out which feelings or values you want to feel more of in your life from now on – and which you would like to feel less of.

We now need to do two things:

1. whittle your list down to size and discover which feelings are more important to you and which are less so – so that you don’t waste time chasing minor ones and forget about important ones.
2. look at why so-called negative feelings are included in your final list – because, after all, isn’t NLP supposed to be about being positive…? Read the rest of this entry »

I began the ’6 Freedoms’ posts back in February. The series evolved out of my preparation for my presentation at the 2008 London NLP Conference (I’m presenting at the 2009 NLP Conference too, btw).

The 6 Freeedoms series is about challenging the concept that being in a relationship is about duty and responsibility and ownership rather than about happily sharing at least part of our journey through life together – and for as long as it suits each party.

The first four of the 6 Freedoms appeared  (links here) sporadically over the months since February 2009 and then, because of the very few comments made on the blog articles, I decided that the series didn’t have enough interest to continue them.  But I was wrong – as is evidenced by what people have said. Over the past few weeks I have had a question on the Pegasus Twitter (@pegasusnlp) as well as some emails asking when the series will be resumed (email address is “reg at pegasusnlp(dot)com”  – you’ll have to add the @ and the . because otherwise my spam will rocket!)

So then I checked the Blog stats and it does, indeed, appear as if the series has evoked quite a bit of interest.

As a result the next two in the series (plus a wondering-out-loud about a possible seventh) will appear over the next few days.

The latest Pegasus NLP Newsletter is about using NLP to prepare for important personal, social and business interactions.

Based on the Pegasus NLP version of the NLP Perceptual Positions Technique, which we call Different Perspectives, the newsletter provides tips for

1. Being clear about what you want
2. Determining how you will behave in the meeting
3. Identifying how the other person will likely to be approaching the meeting – and experiencing your communication with them
4. Ensuring you remain in pro-active rather than re-active mode if things are not going your way.

There has been some twittering/tweeting on @pegasusnlp about how wet and cold weather, especially in summer, negatively influences our moods – or seems to act as a trigger for us to feel less buoyant and cheerful. This has been evoked by July and August, here in the UK, being unseasonably cool, wet and windy.

So, as you can’t get much across in a Twitter 140 character message, I thought I’d raise the topic here.  This is more of a wondering blog post than a definitive clarification of what goes on.

If we use NLP to ‘model’ the experience of many of us looking out at the cool and wet August weather a number of things come to mind: Read the rest of this entry »