Posts Tagged ‘NLP’

It’s bank holiday weekend!

The Dorset Coast, when I live, is a popular visitor destination and I’ve long ago learned from the locals that it’s best to avoid travelling locally on bank holiday weekends.

But yesterday I took a chance. And got caught in a traffic jam. It wasn’t a long one – just about 15 mins and in beautiful surroundings – so it gave me a chance to more closely admire the countryside I normally whiz through at 60 mph.

One extra day off

It also gave me food for thought and conversation. We have just 8 bank holidays here in the UK. This is fewer than many countries: Spain has 14 and Italy 16. India has just 3 ‘national’ holidays though you can get other days off depending on your religion. Read the rest of this entry »

Do you give yourself a hard time?

What you do when you slip up? When you make a mistake, forget something, screw up, open your mouth and (metaphorically) put your foot in it, do something embarrassing, etc.

If you’re like most of us you give yourself a hard time about it. You pile on the guilt. Harangue yourself. Resort to endless self-criticism. Relive the awkward or embarrassing or failure moment over and over again.

All accompanied by the self talk: why can’t you ever get anything right! You stupid, stupid person! How can you be so foolish/silly/careless/short-sighted/… (plus anything else you’d like to add). Read the rest of this entry »

Good NLP myths don’t die

Yep, it’s back yet again – the NLP Lie-Detector myth or lie.  I’ve just come across a Google Alerts’ reference to this NLP lie-detector article from Alabama’s North Jefferson News.

What myth?? You know, it’s the one which says that you can tell if a person is lying by whether they look up to the right or to the left when you ask them a question.

The Myth

In essence it suggests that if you ask someone a question and their eyes move up and to their left they ‘should be’ remembering something they have already seen.  And if they look up and to their right they ‘are’ creating or making up an image.

So if I ask you a question and you look up and to your right this shows me that you are making up the answer i.e. you are lying. Simple! And false.

(By the way, there’s a previous Pegasus NLP Blog article about the lie-detector myth published in February 2008.) Read the rest of this entry »

For many people there is a certain satisfaction in giving others good advice on how to solve their problems or live their lives. And these people find it quite frustrating when, after carefully designing and delivering the advice,  the recipient doesn’t follow it: they either ignore it completely or follow for a while and then fall back into the old ways.

The today’s issue (27 July 2010) of the Pegasus NLP Newsletter explores the issue of advice giving and why it can be so difficult to get people to change their behaviours – even when such behaviours are plainly causing them problems.

Why people don’t follow advice

The reasons why people do not follow advice can be many and varied. The advice may not be suitable for them. They may not like being talked at. Read the rest of this entry »

The cost of Get it Right

In Part 1 we looked at the way the Get it Right attitude works and I suggested having a think about how it works in your own life and what it’s cost you to date.

If you’ve done this you’ll be aware of the lost opportunities resulting from it; those ‘if only’ moments when the need to Get It Right held you back or sabotaged you.

‘Get it Right’ is stressful, too

Another less-obvious effect is how stressful and tiring this attitude can be: all that thinking, the evaluating of risks, the seeking to avoid mistakes Read the rest of this entry »

NLP techniques don’t work for me!

Not long ago I got an email: ‘I have been reading … (naming a well-known NLP-based self improvement book) and listening to the accompanying CD which a friend of mine has used quite successfully and recommended to me.

I am struggling with it because much of it seems to rely being able to clearly visualise some scenario and feel all the feelings associated with it. I find it very hard to visualise (hard to visualise the good stuff at least) and even harder to feel it so I am becoming rather disillusioned with the whole process – especially when the book tells me how great I will be feeling after doing some visualization, and I actually feel nothing.’ Read the rest of this entry »

We’d like you to train our team

The regional manager for the multinational had taken part, as a private individual, in our NLP Core Skills course a few months earlier and (of course ) was very impressed with it. So much so that he was now approaching us to quote for a training programme.

He wanted a 3-day Team Development training for his 40-strong team so they could learn NLP skills and experience the benefits of the High & Low Ropes Challenge course which he had experienced on NLP Core Skills.

Now a three-day training for such group, who would be flying in to the UK from mainland Europe, was an impressive request. The profit from it and the opportunity to run the programme for other regions of the multinational certainly got my attention. Read the rest of this entry »

People who are ‘going to’ have a great future

The next Pegasus NLP Newsletter will be out shortly. It will be about people who have their ‘future on wheels’. The ones (unlike you or I!) who talk a great talk about the wonderful future they are going to have. But who never seem to get any nearer to it.

The ‘future on wheels’ pattern is a sort of never-never approach to life! Read the rest of this entry »

Managing and Leading in tougher times

Managing and team leading in 2010 and beyond is more demanding than ever before with the challenge of raising and maintain morale and motivation in a smaller workforce in which people:

• have less job security than ever before
• are often dealing with an increased workload as a result of staff cuts
• are experiencing the stress of having to adjust to almost continuous change. Read the rest of this entry »

‘I’ll try…’

It’s only a tiny word. Just 3 letters. But how a person uses the word ‘Try’ provides important clues to their beliefs and attitude.

This widely used and quite sneaky little word is generally used without much thought – almost as a figure of speech, in fact. But what lies beneath it is the attitude I don’t believe…as in ‘I don’t believe you can’ or ‘I don’t believe I can’. And like a lot of words and terms we use it so often that few of us listen to our use of it even though this is emotionally impacting ourselves and our listeners. Read the rest of this entry »