However poor ole’ Steve is adopting an attention-seeking stance. He will suffer in silence only as long as he has an audience. He wants them to force their attention on him – which he gladly accepts while protesting that he does not!

Don’t-worry-about-Me Declan runs a similar pattern – he insists that “you go off and have your fun – I don’t want to be a burden to you! (Sigh)”

We are truly a complex and facinating species, us human beings

You’ve covered off a lot about Sam, and the difference between her thinking she is doing the right thing for someone else, whilst actually (potentially) being selfish, but there are cases where this (not necessarily conscious) lack of self-understanding (I hesitate to use the word integrity in this context) is as significant, or more significant, in the person who is unwell or unhappy.

The two challenges are (a) are they really aware of what they need, and (b) are they communicating that in a way that is at all readable by anyone else. I know, from experience, that some people in tough times (and I’ll admit to having done this myself) actually “enjoy” playing the unwell/unhappy role, and it can be incredibly difficult to read this and therefore act in a way that is appropriate for them.

You refer to this aspect a little in your last paragraph – taking into account their verbal and, especially, their non-verbal response, but at times of difficulty, this can be a particularly tricky thing to do.

A follow-up on really understanding people’s communication at these (hopefully) unusual times would certainly help me.

This post was mentioned on Twitter by pegasusnlp: Got lots of varied comments, in lots of ways, to the recent Sympathy vs. Respect article – so I’v e now posted a sequel: http://bit.ly/hwROo...