If you always do what you’ve always done….
Today is Remembrance Sunday which commemorates the official ending of World War I - when, on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month Germany signed the armistice with the Allies. It’s the day when we remember those who died in all wars.
Out in the New Forest today we were on the final day of the NLP Core Skills programme and we agreed to take a break at about 10:55 a.m. to allow people to recognize the moment in whichever way they considered was appropriate for them.
I spent a few minutes walking almost ankle-deep in autumn leaves among the trees and listening to the birds. Somewhere in the distance was the sound of a volley of gunfire to mark 11 a.m. and, curiously, just at that moment a huge hawk swooped down almost to ground level about 50 yards in front of where I was standing… Right at that moment a dove might have been more appropriate, perhaps, but it was a wonderful moment.
We have a saying in NLP that “if you always do what you’ve always done you always get what you’ve always got.” (It’s not exclusive to NLP, I know, but it’s one of the ways in which we encourage ourselves to become more adventurous and more flexible in how we deal with situations.)
And, as I walked back to the training room, I tried to imagine how the world would be if political leaders had to prove their worth rather than their wealth and cunning before they were allowed to have power. And if, as part of proving their worth, they had to study the 15,000+ major wars in the last 5000 years of world history to recognize the futility of war - especially ones which are designed to change people’s beliefs.
Yes, I agree, it was just a fantasy… but it might make a difference - there’s a saying: ‘those who aren’t prepared to learn from history are destined to repeat it.’
June 25th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Each November I experience a difficulty with Remembrance Sunday.
“In the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them.” Truly great words - but I can’t ‘remember’ those who fought and those who died in the two World Wars - for I never knew any of those who died, nor met them on the field of battle, nor did I witness the terrible widespread traumas to which this particular day is dedicated. Honour them, I can - but Remember them, I can’t.
Perhaps there’s a case for re-naming Remembrance Sunday, if only to give an opportunity to the many young people I meet who have adopted a ‘nothing to do with me’ attitude, to change their perspective - for at the moment I think their viewpoint has some justification.
I can only remember events which I have experienced myself first-hand, and even then I now recognise that my early memories have been subjected to decades of filtering and the reinforcing of beliefs which, until recently, I never thought necessary to re-examine. [For why should I ? Does a goldfish ever stop and wonder if it's swimming in water ? Does it even know of the water's existence ?]
I am grateful to Bandler (Structure of Magic 1, p.16) for a description of how Generalisation, Deletion and Distortion can occur following personal rejection and so produce a self-reinforcing positive feedback loop, which for some people leads to a self-fulfilling life-script of self-harm or self-sabotaging behaviour.
Perhaps there’s a case for introducing NLP into prisons … ?