Comments on: Hot buttons at ‘Identity-Level’ http://pegasusnlpblog.com/hot-buttons-at-identity-level NLP for people who like to think for themselves! Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:12:42 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Reg http://pegasusnlpblog.com/hot-buttons-at-identity-level/comment-page-1#comment-124 Reg Fri, 11 Apr 2008 06:12:14 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/?p=39#comment-124 Curiosity is central to the NLP 'modelling' approach i.e. to walking the Talk of NLP, I'd say. And having 'how is it possible?' as a first reaction to things is a great way of developing this attitude. :) Curiosity is central to the NLP ‘modelling’ approach i.e. to walking the Talk of NLP, I’d say. And having ‘how is it possible?’ as a first reaction to things is a great way of developing this attitude. :)

]]> By: Graham http://pegasusnlpblog.com/hot-buttons-at-identity-level/comment-page-1#comment-123 Graham Thu, 10 Apr 2008 19:54:34 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/?p=39#comment-123 Thanks Reg, Getting curious about things is, I think, a state of mind that helps deal with all kinds of difficult situations. My motto for a long time has been 'There's always a way' and I'm thinking that I should add underneath 'Get curious'. Graham. Thanks Reg,

Getting curious about things is, I think, a state of mind that helps deal with all kinds of difficult situations. My motto for a long time has been ‘There’s always a way’ and I’m thinking that I should add underneath ‘Get curious’.

Graham.

]]> By: Reg http://pegasusnlpblog.com/hot-buttons-at-identity-level/comment-page-1#comment-122 Reg Thu, 10 Apr 2008 07:05:00 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/?p=39#comment-122 The experience of being patronised often results from how the other person reacts to our mannerisms such as quality of eye contact, voice tonality (especially important), and our ability to match their communicating style. These are mannerisms of which we are probably quite unaware. So, rather than do the normal thing of getting defensive, proclaiming our innocence or justifying ourselves, we could get curious about it - and gently engage the other person to discover what it is about how we are communicating that they find patronising. The experience of being patronised often results from how the other person reacts to our mannerisms such as quality of eye contact, voice tonality (especially important), and our ability to match their communicating style.

These are mannerisms of which we are probably quite unaware.

So, rather than do the normal thing of getting defensive, proclaiming our innocence or justifying ourselves, we could get curious about it – and gently engage the other person to discover what it is about how we are communicating that they find patronising.

]]> By: Graham http://pegasusnlpblog.com/hot-buttons-at-identity-level/comment-page-1#comment-121 Graham Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:40:39 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/?p=39#comment-121 Hi, I've been accused of being patronising from time to time and have been quite confounded by it. Nevertheless, communication is the response you get, so it is up to me to work out where I went wrong. My current conclusion is that I need to improve my pacing skills. Pacing seems easy at first sight, but I'm realising that to do it gracefully requires a lot of sensitivity and practise. And if 'patronising' is such a hot button, then that's all the more reason to do pacing well. Thanks for the post - like everything else here it is very helpful. Graham. Hi,
I’ve been accused of being patronising from time to time and have been quite confounded by it.
Nevertheless, communication is the response you get, so it is up to me to work out where I went wrong. My current conclusion is that I need to improve my pacing skills. Pacing seems easy at first sight, but I’m realising that to do it gracefully requires a lot of sensitivity and practise. And if ‘patronising’ is such a hot button, then that’s all the more reason to do pacing well.

Thanks for the post – like everything else here it is very helpful.

Graham.

]]> By: elizabethcairns http://pegasusnlpblog.com/hot-buttons-at-identity-level/comment-page-1#comment-92 elizabethcairns Thu, 07 Feb 2008 09:53:51 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/?p=39#comment-92 Hi Reg, A great reminder of the Logical Levels thanks. At times when I feel disrespected or at the mercy of others, it also helps me to remember the NLP Principle that "Behind every behaviour lies a positive intention". Coupled with an adherance to one of Don Miguel Ruiz' four agreements "Don't take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the vicitm of needless suffering." Hi Reg, A great reminder of the Logical Levels thanks. At times when I feel disrespected or at the mercy of others, it also helps me to remember the NLP Principle that “Behind every behaviour lies a positive intention”. Coupled with an adherance to one of Don Miguel Ruiz’ four agreements “Don’t take anything personally – Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the vicitm of needless suffering.”

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