“The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” (Victor Hugo, 1802-1885)

I’d be a bit concerned about “the other person … sees change as a loss of freedom” as this could suggest they are resisting a change which you are imposing upon them.

Good idea to get to know one another’s values about things such as health and ageing – just so long as you recognise that values do change. And a person’s values at, say, 30 can change dramatically 10 or 30 years later.

At 35 I may highly value fitness and health. At 65 I may (heaven forbid!) prefer day-long TV watching. My partner may not be happy about this but it is ‘my’ choice – and their choice whether or not to stay with me.

Too many people start relationships without finding out whether the other person shares the same views, future lifestyle wishes, or moral vlaues.

This is why whenever I meet someone new I ask a series of questions before it gets serious. For instance, a healthy mind and body is a very important part of my life. I want to know if a potentential future partner shares the views. Will we both be fit and active at 70?

By asking these questions you are finding out early on what each other expects and also whether any issues are resolvable.