What’s your favourite screw-up, setback, mistake, weak spot, etc. What’s pretty well guaranteed to have you in an unpleasant mood? For example:
The common factor in all of these questions is the implication that unpleasant moods don’t happen to us but that we cooperate in making them happen in us.
The implication is that we cause our own moods by how we react; by how we think, respond and/or interpret what’s happening in and around us.
This is not a message which many people want to hear because it’s a lot easier to be able to blame others for when we feel bad. Then we don’t have to take responsibility for the mood but can just blame them – and intimidate them through anger or guilt into getting their act together and behaving as we think they should!
But, if we look at things calmly and rationally, no-one is able to get in there and actually change how our brain cells and body chemicals function to produce the mood. It’s our own thinking which does that! We create our own negative moods.
Recognising this and acting upon it is central to real NLP. That’s why it amazes me whenever I come across NLP fans – and even NLP Practitioners – blaming others for their own moods.
So, as a thought to ponder, maybe 2011could be the year for driving our own emotional buses: the year in which to begin looking at how we create our own unpleasant moods. And the year for giving others the freedom to behave as they wish – even if we don’t approve.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (an NLPer long before NLP was invented) suggested “Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss.”
So if every ‘down’ mood were to be treated as an opportunity to learn more about how we create our bad moods – and, therefore, how we can create them less often – we could even begin to welcome ‘down’ moods as learning opportunities.
(Click here http://www.nlp-now.co.uk/nlp_what_you_want.htm for a series of five Pegasus NLP Newsletters on the subject of Driving Your Own Bus.)