Comments for Pegasus NLP Blog http://pegasusnlpblog.com Information, thoughts and views...with an NLP flavour Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:19:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 Comment on It’s OK to be a “Peeping Tom”…? by Reg http://pegasusnlpblog.com/peeping-tom-behaviour-becomes-accepted#comment-133 Reg Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:39:31 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/peeping-tom-behaviour-becomes-accepted#comment-133 I agree up to a point, Colin. The difference being that the actors in TV soaps are faking it (even more) than the participants in Big Brother-type shows. What is really sad is how many people substitute this type of vicarious living for real life experiences. So they get their excitement or kicks or whatever 'second hand' by identifying with characters on the small screen. It's safer, of course, and if the on-screen going gets tough they can always make a cup of tea or open a can of beer in the commercial breaks! I agree up to a point, Colin. The difference being that the actors in TV soaps are faking it (even more) than the participants in Big Brother-type shows.

What is really sad is how many people substitute this type of vicarious living for real life experiences. So they get their excitement or kicks or whatever ’second hand’ by identifying with characters on the small screen.

It’s safer, of course, and if the on-screen going gets tough they can always make a cup of tea or open a can of beer in the commercial breaks!

]]> Comment on It’s OK to be a “Peeping Tom”…? by colinpowell http://pegasusnlpblog.com/peeping-tom-behaviour-becomes-accepted#comment-132 colinpowell Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:41:55 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/peeping-tom-behaviour-becomes-accepted#comment-132 At source, is 'peeping' at the Big Brother household really any different from 'peeping' at the families in Coronation Street ? Although the levels of intimacy may be different, they both involve viewers operating as 'flies on the wall' to a consenting 'target'. They both involve having access to the intimate details of someone-else's private life - albeit one having resulted from a script-writer's imagination. But what I find most unsatisfactory about television is the increasingly trend for human conflict and distress to be offered-up as passive entertainment for the anonymous voyeur. From time to time I suspend disbelief and enter what I describe as 'reality over-dose mode', in which I place myself in the position of television camera, with the whole entourage of technicians, lighting and make-up surounding me. From that fantasised viewpoint, the sight of fully grown men playing at cowboys and indians takes on a whole new perspective ! At source, is ‘peeping’ at the Big Brother household really any different from ‘peeping’ at the families in Coronation Street ? Although the levels of intimacy may be different, they both involve viewers operating as ‘flies on the wall’ to a consenting ‘target’. They both involve having access to the intimate details of someone-else’s private life - albeit one having resulted from a script-writer’s imagination.

But what I find most unsatisfactory about television is the increasingly trend for human conflict and distress to be offered-up as passive entertainment for the anonymous voyeur.

From time to time I suspend disbelief and enter what I describe as ‘reality over-dose mode’, in which I place myself in the position of television camera, with the whole entourage of technicians, lighting and make-up surounding me. From that fantasised viewpoint, the sight of fully grown men playing at cowboys and indians takes on a whole new perspective !

]]> Comment on If you always do what you’ve always done…. by colinpowell http://pegasusnlpblog.com/if-you-always-do-what-youve-always-done#comment-131 colinpowell Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:55:19 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/if-you-always-do-what-youve-always-done#comment-131 Each November I experience a difficulty with Remembrance Sunday. "In the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them." Truly great words - but I can't 'remember' those who fought and those who died in the two World Wars - for I never knew any of those who died, nor met them on the field of battle, nor did I witness the terrible widespread traumas to which this particular day is dedicated. Honour them, I can - but Remember them, I can't. Perhaps there's a case for re-naming Remembrance Sunday, if only to give an opportunity to the many young people I meet who have adopted a 'nothing to do with me' attitude, to change their perspective - for at the moment I think their viewpoint has some justification. I can only remember events which I have experienced myself first-hand, and even then I now recognise that my early memories have been subjected to decades of filtering and the reinforcing of beliefs which, until recently, I never thought necessary to re-examine. [For why should I ? Does a goldfish ever stop and wonder if it's swimming in water ? Does it even know of the water's existence ?] I am grateful to Bandler (Structure of Magic 1, p.16) for a description of how Generalisation, Deletion and Distortion can occur following personal rejection and so produce a self-reinforcing positive feedback loop, which for some people leads to a self-fulfilling life-script of self-harm or self-sabotaging behaviour. Perhaps there's a case for introducing NLP into prisons ... ? Each November I experience a difficulty with Remembrance Sunday.
“In the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them.” Truly great words - but I can’t ‘remember’ those who fought and those who died in the two World Wars - for I never knew any of those who died, nor met them on the field of battle, nor did I witness the terrible widespread traumas to which this particular day is dedicated. Honour them, I can - but Remember them, I can’t.

Perhaps there’s a case for re-naming Remembrance Sunday, if only to give an opportunity to the many young people I meet who have adopted a ‘nothing to do with me’ attitude, to change their perspective - for at the moment I think their viewpoint has some justification.

I can only remember events which I have experienced myself first-hand, and even then I now recognise that my early memories have been subjected to decades of filtering and the reinforcing of beliefs which, until recently, I never thought necessary to re-examine. [For why should I ? Does a goldfish ever stop and wonder if it’s swimming in water ? Does it even know of the water’s existence ?]

I am grateful to Bandler (Structure of Magic 1, p.16) for a description of how Generalisation, Deletion and Distortion can occur following personal rejection and so produce a self-reinforcing positive feedback loop, which for some people leads to a self-fulfilling life-script of self-harm or self-sabotaging behaviour.

Perhaps there’s a case for introducing NLP into prisons … ?

]]> Comment on The world is what you make it by Clare Denyer http://pegasusnlpblog.com/the-world-is-what-you-make-it#comment-130 Clare Denyer Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:51:09 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/the-world-is-what-you-make-it#comment-130 Seems to me that the work we do can be like giving a gift.....what response do we usually want from giving a gift? Surprise? Delight? Something practical that makes life easier for someone (but please not another toaster!!), maybe something MORE than they expected? I've been thinking about my work this way and the experience has been amazing! When I take the position that everything I do at work (however great or small) is valuable to someone, and if I do it in the best way I can, then I am spending 8 hours a day giving people gifts! Throw in humour and a smile and soon everyone is doing it! It seems to me that it creates a great atmosphere, improves cooperation, it's catching and it overflows into life outside work too! Seems to me that the work we do can be like giving a gift…..what response do we usually want from giving a gift? Surprise? Delight? Something practical that makes life easier for someone (but please not another toaster!!), maybe something MORE than they expected? I’ve been thinking about my work this way and the experience has been amazing! When I take the position that everything I do at work (however great or small) is valuable to someone, and if I do it in the best way I can, then I am spending 8 hours a day giving people gifts! Throw in humour and a smile and soon everyone is doing it! It seems to me that it creates a great atmosphere, improves cooperation, it’s catching and it overflows into life outside work too!

]]> Comment on The world is what you make it by Iain http://pegasusnlpblog.com/the-world-is-what-you-make-it#comment-127 Iain Wed, 11 Jun 2008 17:23:20 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/the-world-is-what-you-make-it#comment-127 I spent a bit of time in hospital a few years ago and conducted a similar scientific study of the impact of people on each other. The ward I was in was comprised of about 6 of us in various stages of recovery. Quite hard to keep yourself positive lying around in bed for weeks waiting to get better. I started to notice the impact of the nurses on us inmates. One Nurse in particular would breeze in (sometimes at 6 in the morning by the way) with a bright 'morning lads', on went the lights and up went the energy. 'have you had your wash yet gentlemen?' 'we need to get this place looking just right'. Pretty soon we were all doing our best to get ourselves and our little bit of the hospital clean and tidy, even if some people could only just about sit up! This feeling of all being well in the world would last for hours after this wonderful lady had moved on to another ward, spreading that most infectious thing, happiness ! I spent a bit of time in hospital a few years ago and conducted a similar scientific study of the impact of people on each other.
The ward I was in was comprised of about 6 of us in various stages of recovery. Quite hard to keep yourself positive lying around in bed for weeks waiting to get better.
I started to notice the impact of the nurses on us inmates. One Nurse in particular would breeze in (sometimes at 6 in the morning by the way) with a bright ‘morning lads’, on went the lights and up went the energy.
‘have you had your wash yet gentlemen?’
‘we need to get this place looking just right’.
Pretty soon we were all doing our best to get ourselves and our little bit of the hospital clean and tidy, even if some people could only just about sit up!
This feeling of all being well in the world would last for hours after this wonderful lady had moved on to another ward, spreading that most infectious thing, happiness !

]]> Comment on The world is what you make it by Graham http://pegasusnlpblog.com/the-world-is-what-you-make-it#comment-126 Graham Tue, 03 Jun 2008 07:44:41 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/the-world-is-what-you-make-it#comment-126 ‘you get back what you put out’ - yes, and often you just have to put out a simple smile - how much easier does it get? ;-) ‘you get back what you put out’ - yes, and often you just have to put out a simple smile - how much easier does it get? ;-)

]]> Comment on The Zeigarnik Effect and unfinished business by nlpguru http://pegasusnlpblog.com/the-zeigarnik-effect-and-unfinished-business#comment-125 nlpguru Tue, 27 May 2008 17:38:09 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/the-zeigarnik-effect-and-unfinished-business#comment-125 Its history that Zeigarnik got the idea while she was observing a the waiter at a hotel had better recollections of still unpaid orders. The effect have good implications like students who wish to remember material better should leave learning unfinished when taking breaks. Its history that Zeigarnik got the idea while she was observing a the waiter at a hotel had better recollections of still unpaid orders. The effect have good implications like students who wish to remember material better should leave learning unfinished when taking breaks.

]]> Comment on Hot buttons at ‘Identity-Level’ by Reg http://pegasusnlpblog.com/hot-buttons-at-identity-level#comment-124 Reg Fri, 11 Apr 2008 06:12:14 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/hot-buttons-at-identity-level#comment-124 Curiosity is central to the NLP 'modelling' approach i.e. to walking the Talk of NLP, I'd say. And having 'how is it possible?' as a first reaction to things is a great way of developing this attitude. :) Curiosity is central to the NLP ‘modelling’ approach i.e. to walking the Talk of NLP, I’d say. And having ‘how is it possible?’ as a first reaction to things is a great way of developing this attitude. :)

]]> Comment on Hot buttons at ‘Identity-Level’ by Graham http://pegasusnlpblog.com/hot-buttons-at-identity-level#comment-123 Graham Thu, 10 Apr 2008 19:54:34 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/hot-buttons-at-identity-level#comment-123 Thanks Reg, Getting curious about things is, I think, a state of mind that helps deal with all kinds of difficult situations. My motto for a long time has been 'There's always a way' and I'm thinking that I should add underneath 'Get curious'. Graham. Thanks Reg,

Getting curious about things is, I think, a state of mind that helps deal with all kinds of difficult situations. My motto for a long time has been ‘There’s always a way’ and I’m thinking that I should add underneath ‘Get curious’.

Graham.

]]> Comment on Hot buttons at ‘Identity-Level’ by Reg http://pegasusnlpblog.com/hot-buttons-at-identity-level#comment-122 Reg Thu, 10 Apr 2008 07:05:00 +0000 http://pegasusnlpblog.com/hot-buttons-at-identity-level#comment-122 The experience of being patronised often results from how the other person reacts to our mannerisms such as quality of eye contact, voice tonality (especially important), and our ability to match their communicating style. These are mannerisms of which we are probably quite unaware. So, rather than do the normal thing of getting defensive, proclaiming our innocence or justifying ourselves, we could get curious about it - and gently engage the other person to discover what it is about how we are communicating that they find patronising. The experience of being patronised often results from how the other person reacts to our mannerisms such as quality of eye contact, voice tonality (especially important), and our ability to match their communicating style.

These are mannerisms of which we are probably quite unaware.

So, rather than do the normal thing of getting defensive, proclaiming our innocence or justifying ourselves, we could get curious about it - and gently engage the other person to discover what it is about how we are communicating that they find patronising.

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