Sometimes, in life, it’s wise to accept that we will not be able to like – or to be liked by – everyone.

Obrigado pelas dicas.

Abraços !

Google translate:

Congratulations for “Rapport – the simplest way.” What a pity not be possible to apply to everyone, mainly because of their negative thoughts. Thanks for the tips.

it’s always been my attitude, too. Yonks ago, in the days when they had bus conductors, I spent about a year working as a London Transport bus conductor.

The general ‘work ethic’ was errrr… poor. Very poor.

I didn’t care – I’d just arrived in London – after ditching a very boring career-in-the-making as an accountant – and loved the fun, excitement, people-focussed aspect, and varied hours of working on the buses.

The customers benefited because they enjoyed my enjoyment.

I discovered that you make your own karma: ‘you get back what you put out’, at quite a young age.

So a big thanks to all those thousands of people I met on My Bus each week back in the late 60′s (Routes 65, 71, 213, 218, 219)

Reg

Some of my colleagues in the parks department were really keen on their jobs and some not so keen. The not so keen could not understand those who worked hard and enjoyed it. They worked for The Council and watched the clock, the ones who enjoyed it worked for the pleasure it gave them and others. When I was asked what it was like working for the council my reply was I don’t work for the council, I work for the people of Sheffield.

Making the parks beautiful for the people who visit may seem a low sort of job, low paid certainly, but in public service you can make someones day by naming a plant, giving a smile, lending an ear.

In fact everyone in public service works for the people, the body they work within just administers the service that is paid for by the people.

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Reg

Anger, to me, can be like the final retreat point – the ‘thus far and no further’ point.

It can motivate us to take action to put the situation or the world right. If we have the skills to use it rather than be a victim of it.

Few young people of 7 or 9 are likely to have these skills – they are still functioning at a highly Kinaesthetic level, in which they are driven by their emotions

It’s quite possible that conversational questions, from an adult with whom they are in rapport, can be an opportunity for them to discover and develop by themselves the skill of being able to redirect the inclination to be angry into a constructive direction.

Worth giving it a go, perhaps

Reg

He still maintains the possibility of getting so angry he cannot control himself, and I haven’t worked out whether that is a confidence issue or not.
I remember as a child getting so cross about the burning injustice of other people’s behaviour and how unfair it all was. Funnily enough, I remember the feeling but few incidents. I do remember at I threw a welly out of the classroom and it went through a window! I felt awful! After a while I just let people’s behaviour wash over me more, but I am not sure when, and if it is still that sense of injustice that can lead to my feeling miserable about lack of control at work, with dictats from above that simply mean you don’t have enough time to do the job properly, rather than adding anything.

Like having to do pointless training days.

With trying to sort out my road rage, usually bicycle rage, I usually think it has worked, doing a swish or something, but then there is another situation that I react badly to. I am finding it difficult to generalise, so I must be swishing the wrong thing, or not getting at the underlying beliefs. The swishes thus far have just mopped up after, which is no good for next time.

So, does this help the 9 year old? Perhaps talking about what does it for me might help him think about what does it for him. The language of exploring his feelings is not really there yet.
Now I have to help the 7 year old to stop getting herself into grumps – I can see her developing ongoing problems with mood unless she has the skills to choose to do something else.

Children are funny!