Pegasus NLP Blog
NLP for people who like to think for themselves!
NLP vs. Bodywork
In the early 80’s as I was exploring NLP I also became interested in bodywork as another route to personal development. As the name suggests bodywork is about physical ways of enabling oneself and others to get to know ourselves better and to feel better. My experimenting took me into workshops and training in Touch for Health and other branches of applied kinesiology, acupressure, shiatsu, reflexology, iridology, Gestalt Therapy, bioenergetics, neo-Reichian work, along with Tai Chi and other forms of Chi work.
I noticed at the bodywork workshops that people were more warm and touchy-feely with one another. This was great at times and at other times became an imposition, especially when it came to hugging. Continue reading
Self Talk has its uses …
A lot of us who do our thinking primarily through self talk or, as we term it in NLP, through Auditory Digital thinking, try to keep track of everything going on in our lives “in our heads”.
And if you have a very busy life and have lots of things to keep track of you’ll know that this is not a very efficient way of keeping track – and that you’ll be quite familiar with the process of constantly ‘going over’ things through self talk:
- I must remember to do that,
- When will I have time to fit this in?
- Emm, let me think, could I postpone that till tomorrow?
- Oops, forgot to make that phone call! Continue reading
Bad times or learning opportunities?
What’s your favourite screw-up, setback, mistake, weak spot, etc. What’s pretty well guaranteed to have you in an unpleasant mood? For example:
- Do you forget things? And then give yourself a hard time about it.
- Do you get irritable? And then blame yourself or others for causing the mood change?
- Do you fret unnecessarily about things – which later turn out okay?
- Do you blame others for not behaving as you’d like them to – and then use guilt to try and mould their behaviour?
- Do you feel sorry for yourself because the world isn’t as it should be – but do nothing to make things right for yourself? Continue reading
NLP Quick Tips: Task, Relationship… and Rapport
There’s been a long gap between this post and the previous one — almost 2 months. September-November is our busiest period and happily this year has been no exception.
So finding time to keep up with blogs articles hasn’t been easy. And that’s quite frustrating because I get so many great ideas for articles from interacting with people who attend our NLP training courses.
Quick Tips?
Yep, it’s been a matter of lots of great ideas and no time to flesh them out into articles… so I’ve come up with the idea of “Quick Tips” in which I’ll condense very practical, down-to-earth ways of doing things more effectively into as few words as possible.
Obviously these won’t be very thorough or in-depth but they will be practical.
Take your time!
One of the first “challenges” in becoming an effective comnicator is knowing how to create the right atmosphere for effective communicating to occur. (By the way, this is a huge subject – further ideas and tips will follow.) Continue reading
Do you give yourself a hard time?
What you do when you slip up? When you make a mistake, forget something, screw up, open your mouth and (metaphorically) put your foot in it, do something embarrassing, etc.
If you’re like most of us you give yourself a hard time about it. You pile on the guilt. Harangue yourself. Resort to endless self-criticism. Relive the awkward or embarrassing or failure moment over and over again.
All accompanied by the self talk: why can’t you ever get anything right! You stupid, stupid person! How can you be so foolish/silly/careless/short-sighted/… (plus anything else you’d like to add). Continue reading
Good NLP myths don’t die
Yep, it’s back yet again – the NLP Lie-Detector myth or lie. I’ve just come across a Google Alerts’ reference to this NLP lie-detector article from Alabama’s North Jefferson News.
What myth?? You know, it’s the one which says that you can tell if a person is lying by whether they look up to the right or to the left when you ask them a question.
The Myth
In essence it suggests that if you ask someone a question and their eyes move up and to their left they ‘should be’ remembering something they have already seen. And if they look up and to their right they ‘are’ creating or making up an image.
So if I ask you a question and you look up and to your right this shows me that you are making up the answer i.e. you are lying. Simple! And false.
(By the way, there’s a previous Pegasus NLP Blog article about the lie-detector myth published in February 2008.) Continue reading
For many people there is a certain satisfaction in giving others good advice on how to solve their problems or live their lives. And these people find it quite frustrating when, after carefully designing and delivering the advice, the recipient doesn’t follow it: they either ignore it completely or follow for a while and then fall back into the old ways.
The today’s issue (27 July 2010) of the Pegasus NLP Newsletter explores the issue of advice giving and why it can be so difficult to get people to change their behaviours – even when such behaviours are plainly causing them problems.
Why people don’t follow advice
The reasons why people do not follow advice can be many and varied. The advice may not be suitable for them. They may not like being talked at. Continue reading
NLP and traditional health enhancement
Before I began to specialise in NLP training I ran stress management workshops for a number of years beginning back in 1983. Often I would be running two to five 2-hour workshops in any week in the Bournemouth-Poole area in Dorset (UK). And I also had a private psychotherapy and counselling practise in which I saw people individually.
During this time I had the privilege of encountering some great people who were making inspiring changes in their lives.
This process continued, albeit in a slightly different way, when I began concentrating on ‘pure’ NLP training programmes from the early 2000′s . I still encountered (and still encounter) many, many people who are making wonderful changes in their lives. Continue reading
The cost of Get it Right
In Part 1 we looked at the way the Get it Right attitude works and I suggested having a think about how it works in your own life and what it’s cost you to date.
If you’ve done this you’ll be aware of the lost opportunities resulting from it; those ‘if only’ moments when the need to Get It Right held you back or sabotaged you.
‘Get it Right’ is stressful, too
Another less-obvious effect is how stressful and tiring this attitude can be: all that thinking, the evaluating of risks, the seeking to avoid mistakes Continue reading
The Get it Right Attitude
You probably know the ‘get it right attitude’. It’s the one that is backed up by clichés such as ‘if a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing properly’! It’s the attitude that prevents so many of us doing so many things.
It goes along the lines: there’s no point in starting because I won’t be able to do it properly and people will find fault with it!
It’s also the attitude that gets in the way of actually finishing things – because if you finish something it won’t be perfect and people wil find fault with it and therefore you’ll have failed!
But… if you don’t finish it it’s still work in progress, so you can’t be criticised. Continue reading
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