Pegasus NLP Blog

One of the things you learn in NLP presentation skills trainings is the value of ‘open loops’ in which a topic is briefly explored and then left hanging while the focus moves on to something else – only to be returned to later.

‘Open loops’ is, in essence, one application of the Zeigarnik Effect which states that unfinished tasks are remembered better that finished ones.

So in a training programme skilful and judicious use of open loops means we can cram a lot more learning into a given amount of time – and achieve better retention of the material. Retention can be increased by as much as 90% in adults according to the Zeigarnik Effect paper which Lithuanian-born Bluma Zeigarnik published in 1927.

The down-side of this phenomenon is that it can be the cause of much stress and emotional unease – something which is explored in the early April issue of the Pegasus NLP Newsletter – because the amount of multi-tasking demanded by our daily lives ensures there are always lots of unfinished issues to prevent us from switching off and enjoying recreation time.

NLP has now been around for about 35 years or so. Among other things, NLP has always sought to improve the quality of interpersonal communication. Except in one area – the teaching of NLP, itself.

Even in the early days would-be NLPers had to wrestle with a wonderfully obscure terminology including such terms as:

• Modal Operators of Necessity (words or phrases which denote a rule or a belief that something is necessary)
• Well-Formedness Conditions for an Outcome (goals which have been well designed)
• Lost Performative (making a value judgement but denying ownership of it e.g. “it has been observed that your timekeeping hasn’t been very good recently” instead of “I don’t think you’re timekeeping has been very good recently”)
• Model of the World (a person’s view of reality or of how things are)

These are just four out of dozens or perhaps hundreds of arcane terms which the ‘in the know’ NLPer can bandy about. I’ve actually heard one well-known Big Name in the word of NLP talking about operationalising the Presuppositions of NLP by which he meant walking the talk of the NLP principles. The same individual talks about the field between people or sometimes the mind field by which he means (I think) the ongoing communication and relationship between them.

Why do we need such gobbledygook? Why do we need to have ordinary terms relabelled?

If I were a somewhat cynical person (which, of course, I’m not) I’d suggest it might be a marketing ploy to get people to attend NLP workshops e.g. the terminology is so complex you’ll have to attend a workshop to be able to understand it.

So, as I’m not a cynical person, I’ll suggest that it’s probably laziness supported by a tendency for some of the NLP Big Names to live in a world apart from the “real world” in which the rest of us live – a world where they are surrounded by admiring groupies hanging on their every word and never daring to challenge them because what they say must be true – after all, they are Big Names (Emperor’s New Clothes).

One mark of an expert is that they can explain things concisely and in simple everyday language. Which is why in our own Pegasus NLP Courses we seek the proficiency of being able to explain NLP concepts to a child of 10!

… at least not too quickly. Negative moods are, quite rightly, a target for most positive living approaches, including NLP. After all, remaining in an angry, depressed, or panicky mood isn’t much fun and there are lots of better ways of feeling.

If you’re in a negative mood, and you have a few NLP skills, the temptation is to focus only on getting rid of the mood. Which contravenes a core principle of NLP – the pacing and leading concept which boils down to ‘first get in rapport with where the person is right now – and only then attempt to influence them’.

This principle can apply to self, too. Rather than furiously trying to ‘not’ feel the negative mood how about first getting into rapport with yourself, before you attempt to change the mood?

But why stay in the mood for a second longer than you need to? The label ‘negative mood’ indicates we don’t like the particular state – anxious, tetchy, gloomy or whatever -  so you’d think the best thing is to furiously get rid of it and replace it with a more pleasant state…

This is fine as long as you first do something quite important: discover what produced the negative state in the first place and assess if you need to do something about that. Because if we miss this step the mood will recur, again and again and, we’ll be forever fighting ourselves!

Once again, if we’re not prepared to learn from (our) history we’re destined to repeat it – if you always do what you’ve always done etc.! (By the way this is the topic of this week’s Pegasus NLP Newsletter.)

This week’s Pegasus NLP Newsletter discusses how we don’t need an holistic or mind-body NLP because real NLP is holistic – hence the name Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

The Neuro part of the name refers to how NLP explores the the way our neurology and physiology impacts on our daily lives.

The Linguistic bit refers to how NLP explores how both verbal and non-verbal language impacts on our experience.

The Programming bit is about the way in which we use consistent patterns or ‘recipes’ or automatic programmes to do what we do in our everyday lives.

The newsletter also talks about the Triangle of Health – the mental, physical and nutritional ways in which we can support or undermine our mental and physical wellbeing – and how, to be at our best, we need to pay attention to and invest in all three sides rather than just focus on clear thinking or exercise or a good eating regime.

This week’s Pegasus NLP Newsletter is about negative anchors and how, unless dealt with, they can result in our feeling as if our moods just happen to us - as if we’re on autopilot.

In NLP workshops we examine how negative anchors work e.g. you’re going through your day, feeling fine, and then something happens which for you is a negative anchor and that’s it - instant mood change! So you feel bad for a while and then get yourself back on track.

However the most serious aspect of having lots of unconscious negative anchors is their impact, over time, on our self-esteem. We know we ’shouldn’t’ respond to these triggers. We know we ’should’ be more positive. So we read lots of positive thinking books which make it all sound so easy. And we make endless ‘new starts’ where we’re going to be positive, going to be more in charge of our moods, going to not let things get to us and so on.

But the negative anchors still get to us. Our negative moods continue to happen automatically.

Why? Because traditional ‘positive thinking’ methods simply don’t work with these hot buttons. Negative anchors are pretty well immune to intellectual approaches. It’s as if they bypass the intellect and head straight for the emotions.

But not knowing this can result in our thinking we’re to blame - when it’s really just a matter of not using the right approach…

The Pegasus NLP Newsletter is 7 years old tomorrow, 10th of January! And to celebrate this we’re beginning a new 7-part series “Driving your own bus - 7 NLP practical tips”. The series is about using practical and (mainly) NLP techniques for feeling more in charge of yourself and of your moods. (You can view back issues here.)

It’s interesting to reflect upon how things have changed in the seven years since January 2001. Back then subscribers were very happy to receive an NLP newsletter every one or two or even three months as long as it was thorough and readable and practical. Nowadays most subscribers prefer short snappy NLP newsletters that are practical and to-the-point – they receive so many newsletters that most are simply scanned for gems of interest.

Here at Pegasus NLP we aim to strike a happy medium between the two extremes: between the long, carefully crafted and very thorough newsletter and the short and snappy but somewhat simplistic one. As a result, nowadays our newsletters are about half their former length and (in 2008 and onwards) we aim to get them out much more frequently. Time will tell on how effective we are in meeting this objective

Most New Year Resolutions last until about the middle of January… So I hope, if you’ve made one, that you’re planning on having it last a bit longer than that.

One thing to pay attention to is the impact of what your resolution or goal focusses upon. Does it focus on what you want - or on what you don’t want?

For example if your goal is I want to feel less nervous that evokes one mindset. But notice what happens if you re-phrase it I am moving towards becoming more confident and at ease. Now you attention is not on feeling nervous but on feeling more at ease.

If, say, your goal is to end the habit of smoking cigarettes phrasing it I want to stop smoking ensures you’ll continue to think about smoking. Having a goal I am moving towards being an ex-smoker who feels fitter and breathes more easily! The former ensures you’re continuously paying attention to the idea of smoking cigarettes rather than on the benefits of being an ex-smoker.

The impact of focussing on what you do want rather than on what you don’t want is huge.

(By the way this the topic is also explored in the next issue of our Pegasus NLP Newsletter, which goes out later this week, and is explored in some depth in our NLP Core Skills workshop.)

Well, the NLP Adventure 2007 has arrived and is in full swing. Nearly 100 children-at-heart. Youngest participant is 8 years old. Enjoying amazingly good weather

• swimming
• exploring Tai Chi
• canoeing and kayaking
• climbing on the High Ropes and Climbing Tower
• crawling and scrambling through the Adventure Course
• discovering how to have more impact and presence
• building shelters in the woods
• singing by the lake
• sitting around in the sunshine listening to birdsong
• watching a great sunset on Friday evening
• learning how to light fire with flint or bits or string
• eating a sunset barbeque
• flying fast and high over the lake on the zip wire
• meeting new friends in an atmosphere where the Pegasus NLP principles of fun, curiosity and adventure set the scene
• joining everyone else being at bit silly at the barn dance - where no-one really knew how to barn dance

And that’s just up to Saturday evening. This is being posted at 6.30 am on Sunday(!) and today there’s going to more of the same plus we have a few more people joining us who had to work yesterday.

When you’ve had a moment to read the newsletter add a comment and let me and others know about your experiences in using NLP or other methods to throw off a weary mood or attitude.

The new Pegasus NLP Newsletter was due out today. Incidentally, it’s about using NLP and the ‘10% New Challenge’ to deal with weariness.

And then the Isle of Purbeck, where I live, had a major power cut. No electricity from 11 a.m. until about 5:30 p.m. Add another hour for sorting out the mess on my PC caused by the sudden shutdown when I had about five programmes running…

… and the newsletter will be delayed by a day or so. (Thursday 9 am: we’re sorted things - the newsletter has just been despatched!)