Archive for February, 2010
It was a fairly dramatic example of being talked at. We were chatting on the phone and she was telling me about something. I attempted to ask about a point she’d just made – but the flow of talking continued unabated.
I then used my favourite technique for getting somebody’s attention (it rarely fails) – I used her name (let’s call her Helen)
‘Helen?’ She carried on.
Tried again. ‘Helen, can I ask you something?’
She carried on.
I thought, okay, lets go for it here:
‘Helen? Helen?’ (Still she carried on). Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: anger, communicating, listening, NLP, patronising, talking at | 
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What is rapport?
Rapport is the feeling of being at ease and in tune with someone; it’s what we experience when engaging in a satisfactory relationship.
We have all had the experience of instantly feeling quite at ease with someone. And the feeling of being instantly ill-at-ease with someone else. In the first case there is a natural experience of rapport and in the latter case rapport does not exist.
Rapport means ‘emphasising similarities’
In NLP we consider rapport to be a process of emphasising the similarities between us – and of playing down the differences. People have been doing this for millennia; NLP provides us with a way of clearly understanding the process, or the ‘mechanics’, of rapport. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: creating rapport, nlp manipulation, rapport liking people, rapport nlp |
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‘I’ve done NLP – I can tell if you’re lying’
The old myth of the NLP Lie Detector Technique came up again in today’s course – just as it does in just about every NLP Core Skills Course we do. And it again struck me how sad it is that such a valuable body of knowledge as powerful and life enhancing as NLP is can be trivialised in this way.
Not only trivialised but misrepresented in facile and misleading NLP articles, websites, and training courses – to the extent that these trivialised versions of NLP become almost ‘accepted facts’ about NLP…
The NLP ‘Frogs into Princes’ book
The myth is based on an early observation made just a few years after NLP began to be developed in the early 70′s and mentioned in the great little book ‘Frogs into Princes’. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: nlp book, nlp lie detector, nlp technique, real nlp |
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Instead of rushing about in the dark
Thomas Henry Huxley was a London biologist during the second half of the 1800’s. He coined the term ‘agnostic’ and championed the work of Charles Darwin’s work, among other things. There is a story of his being late for an appointment, rushing out of his house, hailing a hansom cab, and shouting to the cabbie ‘Top speed – I’m late!’
After a few moments the thought dawned on him… He stuck his head out the window and shouted to the cabbie ‘Hey, do you know where I want to go?’
‘No, sir, I don’t,’ shouted the cabbie, ‘But I’m going as fast as I can!’ Read the rest of this entry »
